Shortly after Riley was born, I came to the realization that I get to pick out a Halloween costume for him!!!! So needless to say, now that October is approaching, I’ve been thinking about what he’s going to be. And yes, I know it’s pretty pointless because it’s not like he’s going to go around the neighborhood trick or treating, but he’ll see the grandparents, some friends probably, and we’ll take tons of pictures. It’s worth it to me to get him an awesome costume.
So I wasted some time at work on a Friday looking at Target’s Halloween costumes for infants.
Ok, I need to know who designs Halloween costumes for infants at Target? I need to either shake his or her hand, or kick his or her ass. Maybe both. At the same time.
Just have a looksee.
REALLY? The UPS man? That’s enjoyable for a little kid? “Hey Tommy, what are you being for Halloween?” “A Ghost! What are you being?” “The UPS man!” <crickets chirping>
Ok, I have nothing snarky to say about this one because I think it’s awesome and this is what I want Riley to be. Come on, it’s over the top and awesome, just like Elvis. And Riley would hate it. Especially the hair.
This is what Derek wants him to be:
Ok, how did this even come up as an option. You know what would be so cute for a little baby to be for Halloween? The air freshener I’ve had hanging in my car for two years! It doesn’t smell anymore and it’s faded and it just really reminds me of a cute little baby. Perfect!
However, nothing makes less sense to me than this one:
Why would you want your baby to dress up as something that people sit on to make a farting noise? My baby makes enough farting noises and believe you me, they’re not due to some rubber toy he sits on. I would have loved to be in the meeting where this one was discussed. How did this one get past the corporate dudes being all corporatey? Yeah, a baby as a woopie cushion! Genius! Because the only thing funnier than farts is sitting on a baby. What?