Will It Ever Stop (Yo, I don’t know)

Please do not let the Vanilla Ice reference confuse you. This is not a happy post. Will the unhappiness ever stop? Yo, I don’t know.

My husband works from home. Therefore we are now together 24/7, with our 18-month old son. This is stressful. I spend a lot of time crying and then apologizing. I still feel so sad and hurt about being laid off. I’m scared about our future. I’m scared about insurance. I’m just scared, period.

I deal with the stress by nagging, lashing out, being a bitch, you know, the usual. Which makes me feel bad and cry. The cycle starts all over again. This is by far the hardest thing in our 5 years of marriage.

I know I’ve got to stop it. Get myself together. I’ve been applying for jobs, but I still don’t have much hope. I go from being sad, to angry and back again, accomplishing nothing.

I realize this is not the worst thing to happen in the world. I KNOW this. But yet, the pity party is still in full effect. I talk to a lot of my co-workers about what the place is like now. This just hurts more, makes me crabbier, cryier, sadder. (I know none of those are real words, see? I was good at my job).

I know I need to get over all this and move on, but I don’t know how. The number one priority right now is to stop being a crabby, crying bitch. Starting now…

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