My Funny Boy – A Recap

Yes, we all know kids say the darndest things and all that crap, but really, my child DOES say the darndest (funniest) things sometimes. Below is a recap of things he recently said:

No matter what, he calls scotch tape “sticky tape.” It’s always, “Can you fix my book with sticky tape?” or something like that. Which, while it’s not exactly funny, it’s so cute I could puke.

Naps have not been happening regularly in our house as of late. We’re lucky if he naps 3 days a week. The other day, he refused to sleep and when his daddy came in to ask why he wouldn’t nap, he said, “My tummy hurts.” Derek asked, “Why does your tummy hurt?” He replied, “From playing too hard.” Well, it’s nice to see that he’s doing something productive when he should be napping. Time management at its finest!

A few weeks ago, Riley had his first experience fishing. I come from a family of fishermen. My husband loves to fish (though I think it’s mostly because he likes to sit outside and stare at a body of water while doing nothing. And really, I don’t blame him.) However, I have what can best be described as a “fish phobia.” It’s completely irrational, but fish scare the crap out of me. Long story. It involves a recurring dream of falling into one of the giant fish tanks at the zoo.

Anyway, moving on.

So Riley fished for the first time and caught himself an ugly, grody, nasty fish. I made sure not to shriek and run away while he reeled it in, which was my knee-jerk reaction. However, this kid may be a chip off the old block.

Notice the horrified recoil away from the fish.

After this was taken, he came over to me and quietly said, “Fish are not my favorite.” Mine either, bud. Mine either.

Last week while driving to Kindermusik class, we passed a Taco Bell. No biggie, right? I mean, this is America after all. What is notable is that my 3-year old, who has never been inside a Taco Bell, or eaten at a Taco Bell, or ever discussed a Taco Bell, saw the sign out front and excitedly exclaimed, “TACO BELL!!”

Horrified, I asked him how he knew what Taco Bell is.

He replied, “That’s where you buy food.”

“No,” I corrected him. “That’s where you buy something that resembles food.”

Finally, the other night while I was brushing his teeth, Riley decided it was the prime time to sing a little Old MacDonald. And I couldn’t disagree. So while I brushed his teeth, he gazed at his reflection in the bathroom mirror and sang the song. I wasn’t really paying attention to what he was singing and he obviously noticed. He began to “bring it on home” as real singers do. He sang:

“E – I – E – I – SPAGHETTI!!!!!”

What? Now that’s a showman.


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